Gravenimage

9 weeks of BMT in Leopard coy had just past in a blink of an eye. A blink of an eye to the outside, an eternity inside. I have change my perception of NS during the past 2 months. What seemed to be a dread every time I had to book in became an irritant.

I don't dread NS now, I'm irritated by it. I dreaded it because I didn't like the feeling of not being able to be with my friends when I'm in camp. It disappeared soon because I realised most of my friends are in camp... Now, I'm irritated by it because of the inefficiency. We rush to wait and wait to rush, a very well put summary of our unofficial motto. When I come across the oh-so-common waiting/stoning time, I would naturally think of what I could have been doing somewhere else instead of killing time by talking cock with my platoon mates.

From the outside, people (or at least the other half of the population who don't experience this) think protecting the country is an honourable appointment. From the inside, its boring. The discipline that they're trying to impart to us is not efficient. If I had to name it, I would call it unnecessary artificial and redundant discipline. It is not what you think, its not like Shao Lin monk/Wing Chun kung fu training. In summary, the restriction is making people inside dumber. Doing things by the book is not my nature and thats why i fucking hate it.

The army is like an mmorpg. You play a computer character in a fantasy world, eg WoW/Lineage etc. But this particular mmorpg is different cause its an mmorpg minus the "fantasy". And just like any mmorpg, it consumes time like how a 500watt amp comsumes electricity BUT it doesn't have an "exit and save" option. Being forced to play an mmorpg sucks, many gamers will agree with me.

Whatever it is, I still have over a year and the half of "game time" left and I think I've got to quickly find a way to slow this IQ leak as I "play" this game. There's no inspiration to compose music in camp, my sense for music has dulled, I take longer to do simple maths, my linguistic skill are going down the drain (strangely, even though army language is similar to my st gabs days and my platoon was made of jc people, the vocabulary there's more limited than i expected).

An irony though, that many people say that when you're in army, you hate it, but when its over, you'll miss it. I don't know how this will work out because its hard to see. When I was in cj, I missed my st gabs days, now i'm in the army, I'm missing my cj days. History, a good lesson, if Ben doesn't want to suffer for another 1.5 years, he'll just have to find a way to make him miss NS when he's out of NS...

PS: THE CHEENA PIANGS IN CAMP ARE KILLING ME!! I NEVER THOUGHT JC STUDENTS WOULD TURN OUT TO BE SO FUCKING CHEENA CHEENA CHEENA!#%#!%#@!$^ MORE CHEENA THAN ST GABS?! ARGH!@#$

Is CJ's culture that different from other JCs? O_o

PSS: Army songs gets retarded after repeating it over 20 times during route marches. Not melodic, not of the heart. As incek would put it, "no feeling!!"



We met that night, when the sea ran high.
And I craved for more of that nearlove experience.
Those who the music hath then joined together, are now put asunder....

Remember me, when I lit the fire.
To keep us warm.
On a cold winter morning. Now I pass through the moment.
Can I still recognize a beautiful melody...

I play a note, but hear no sound. Have I lost my love or the wings I found.
When I was young,,,
...and eager to please anyone who had time...

Needed to sing, the very notes I heard.
Had to stay in the shadows and seek for the loneliness.
Nevertheless, the price was higher than I realized.
I was to live alone, ready to make the sacrifice.
Was I in love with you...

My old heart, little harder again.
Once the light goes out, everything ends.
It is time...
ready to cause a scene, ready to make the sacrifice.
Ready to play the note, ready to end the final show.
The only thing I know.

The pain is here. To stay I fear. In my eyes. I can change one note and make you cry.
In this state of mind. Silence is a crime.

How can life be so feigned and cold. I´ve answered the call of every melody, lovingly.
Did I find the answers to all my questions.

Or a gravenimage of me...

If I found the hidden fountain. Drank the wisdom from it´s deep.
Would I have the time to save me. Would I have them both to keep.