Wasted Years

Selective memory. That's one of my fortes. I used to think I have a bad memory, always forgetting things I've just been through, or done. Like what I ate for lunch, or what I did last Sunday. Not quite the case because it seems I remember things to minute details when I remember them. Selective memory. That is what I involuntarily indulge in. Forgetting pain, sadness, hate, anger. Leaving behind happy, cheerful, warm and cosy memories.

But that is of the past.

I always thought that this might pose a ginormous problem in the future. And I was right. 'cos the future is now.

A year ago, I was selectively remembering negative events instead of positive ones in jc. Thus, lead to all the complains about how my years in cj could have been better. Because of that, now, I'm selectively remembering nothing at all. I don't feel 2008. It feels non-existent. It doesn't seem right because I know a lot of things happened in 2008. Weird thing is, I have no substantial impressions of anything being done this year.

Feeling empty and so unaccomplished never happened before to me in the past 19 years. Sad to know that a year has been so wasted. Or has it? I shall dig deeper into my inner mind and put my thoughts into words in subsequent posts.



From the coast of gold, across the seven seas,
I'm travelling on, far and wide,
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself,
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else.

I close my eyes, and think of home,
Another city goes by, in the night,
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it til it's gone away,
And my heart is lying there and will be til my dying day.